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Brian and I had known each other for about 6 months. We first became acquainted with each other electronicly, through my BBS. He was 17 at the time and he had gone into the Match Maker program and described himself as being bisexual. This was very unusual to say the least. Although there are obviously plenty of gay High School students it is quite rare for a young person that age to be secure enough in himself to be able to make such a statement in public. It seemed clear that here was an interesting person. I could never have guessed at the time just how interesting he would ultimately be, let alone what an important part of my life he would become. So I sent him an Email message remarking on how unusual it was for someone his age to describe themselves as bisexual. As nearly as I can recall these many months later I asked him to tell me more about himself. Boy was I surprised! Over the course of the next few weeks the number and intensity of our Email exchanges exploded, seeming almost to take on a life of their own. Brian was intensely curious when I told him that I was gay. He had so many questions for me and the tone of his messages was such that I knew very early on that he was depending on my replies as something to help him in his efforts to understand what was going on inside him. At first he was very cautious about what he would say to me about himself. He made a point of it early on to mention that he had already had sex with a girl, as if to suggest that in his mind this meant he was OK or something. Brian was always so ready to apologize for imposing on me with all of his many questions, later I would come to see that this reflected a very deepseated element of his personality. Brian is a very considerate and goodhearted person. He would apologize for taking up too much of my time, or burdening me with too many questions. I was enjoying getting to know this very sincere young man and I saw a chance to help a young gay person to avoid some of the pitfalls so many of us seem to fall into. Then there was the fact that it was very thrilling for me to be getting involved with a gay teenager, I've always been attracted to young men. All in all though, I'm sure my main motivation was and still is to help a young person just blossoming into his manhood by easing some of the fears and worries this society places on those of us who just happen to be gay. At first Brian was anxious to make it clear to me that he was only curious, then gradually he mentioned little things here and there that made it clear that he was very interested in other guys. Soon he reached the point of telling me in detail what he wanted to do with some of the other guys in his class. I could see that he was gay but he was still trying to find himself. Soon the Email was just not good enough to exchange all the ideas we had to exchange every day. I gave him my voice number and suggested he call me some night. He was not very comfortable with this idea at first, saying he would have to try to work up the nerve to call me. He asked me questions like "Are you gay acting?" or "Do you sound gay?". He even told me not to be too surprised if he called me and then hung up the phone, this did happen a few times. Finally Brian was comfortable enough to call me and actually talk to me and the questions just poured forth as if he had been in a time warp and needed to catch up on world events in the last thirty years. All the time he would apologize to me, not realizing that he was causing an awakening inside of me of things I had suppressed for far too long. Now we were into a new phase in our relationship. Brian called me every night without fail. Sometimes he would call me two or even three times a night. I always had time to talk to him, he needed a gay friend very much and I was having a remarkable time getting to know him too. To this day we talk every night, it is the highlight of my day. I guess the best word to describe Brian is sweet. We would be talking on the phone and he would ask me for permission to ask me a question. It was clear too that he sort of hung on every word I had to say to him. I took the opportunity to warn him about HIV and AIDS. I also tried to reassure him that there was nothing wrong with him because he was having these feelings about other guys. You see this sweet young man was a virgin of sorts, he had been with a woman but he wanted to be with another guy. I tried to let him see that gay people are just like other people except for who we are attracted to. After about two months of this I knew that I wanted to meet this young man, I suggested this to him but it made him very nervous at first. Eventually Brian told me his real name and he told me that he worked on weekends in a store nearby, he invited me to drop by. Of course I did! I was amazed at how nervous I was when I went to his store. I am no virgin, far from it, but on the other hand most of my experiences had been the sort of casual one night thing that results from trips to the gay bars. This was a totally different situation, I knew Brian pretty well but I had never seen or met him. Anyway I was as nervous as I was the first time I took my clothes off in front of a gay man. I walked around the store a while watching him wait on customers, yes he is very-very-very cute but more than that I could tell just by watching him that he was a good person. I waited until he was at one of the registers and picked up something to buy. I had described my appearance to him but there are a lot of curly haired guys with glasses so he had no way of knowing who I was. He had a name tag on so when he handed me my change I said "Thank you Brian" in a way that sort of let him know that I was the one. He called me by my BBS handle to confirm and all I could do was say yes. I'm not sure how long it all took but it seemed like forever. As I said, I was very nervous so I took my change and rushed out of the store. Finally I started breathing again. Now I knew two things, one was that I could trust him completely and the other was that although I knew it would never happen, I wanted him. I rushed home to my BBS, logged in immediately, and sent him a message in which I told him my real name and that I was the Sysop of the BBS on which we had met. You see I am much older than Brian and I have a business associated with my BBS. I had been cautious until now about identifying myself. That night Brian called me just amazed that I was the Sysop (he thought the Sysop of my board was like 18 or so). We talked a long time and I guess we got one step closer to each other. Still, that was many months ago. Things went along pretty much unchanged for quite a while, Brian would call and tell me about the guys in school that he had crushes on, what he wanted to do with them, that sort of thing. I would tell him about experiences I've had in my life, how it felt and so on. Somehow in the middle of all of this we became best of friends. I couldn't say when it was that I first realized it but gradually I was falling in love with Brian. I knew I wanted him in a sexual way and I also knew that he had no attraction to me or interest in older men. Still it was too good to let it just die so we continued to get to know each other as intimately as any two people could with a phone line in between them. We even had 'phone sex' a few times, more for my benefit ? Hard to say. Then in September a really strange set of events took place. There was a benefit for the local AIDS project where I was doing volunteer work. There was a fortune teller there, she read my palm and told me that I would go on a four day business trip the next month (I was already planning such a trip) and that it would change my life. As it happened I was asked to consider relocating to California, something I have wanted for fifteen years. More on this later, I considered it. Soon the Christmas holidays rolled around. By this time I knew I wanted the transfer but things were moving slowly. Brian had time off from school and I had vacation time to use up. We decided to 'go out' together. It was Brian's first date with another guy, it was my first date with Brian, it was beautiful. We went to a movie together and my hand seemed to keep ending up on his leg. He kept moving it away. I kept putting it back again. Then we rode around the city checking out guys and rating them, gosh it was fun and for Brian it was an amazingly liberating experience. He could actually tell someone that this guy or that guy turned him on. So sweet, so innocent, so sincere, and so-so cute. I knew I was in love. I knew it was hopeless. I didn't care. Just to be with him was enough for me. Oh God how I loved this boy. Christmas was here! I bought him a pair of underwear, half a joke and half a statement. Brian is no fool, he is very bright. Nothing was lost on him. He is very reserved, when he has nothing to say he says nothing. I have always hated New Years. I seem to spend it alone or with people I do not want to be with. It is such a mean holiday. I got very depressed a few days before New Years. I sent Brian what was in effect almost a Dear John Email. I was finally facing up to the fact that he just did not crave being in bed with someone so much older than him. My love was unrequited. Poor, poor me! In desperation I invited a few of my gay friends and a straight friend to come over on New Years knowing they most likely would not show. Home alone that night and ready to go to bed early my phone rings, it was Brian! Was he still invited ? OH GOD YES! What a New Years Eve it was. Just being near him, touching him talking to him, love is wonderful. Brian asked to see a gay video but he made me sit on the other couch. One little kiss at Midnight, it was heavenly. By now we both sort of knew that I would be leaving for California, we knew we did not have much time left. We had no idea what to do about it. January 3rd was Brian's birthday, 18 years old! A MAN! Now no-one could say I was fooling around with a mere boy. I bought him a book, "Coming Out". It seemed appropriate. I love him. January 11th I left on an exploratory trip to California. Found some nice apartments, got laid in San Jose, thought about Brian constantly. No offer on the table yet from the company. I was just wondering what the heck was going to happen ? Was I moving or not ? What about Brian and I ? Came home on the twentieth. Brian and I had a lot to catch up on through the phone wires. Why am I depressed again ? The local gay bar lets those who are underage in on Wednesday nights for a pasta buffet to benefit the AIDS agency. Brian met me there on Wednesday the 22nd. An old lover of mine was there, Charlie, a very sweet man. I introduced Brian and we had a great time together. Brian was like a kid in a candy store. Once again I had led him into a liberating experience, I was so happy. Brian and I take off to my place. As I sit in front of my BBS he is standing next to me. I start to rub his beautiful rear end with my hand and he does not stop me. My right hand starts rubbing the inside of his thigh, it turns him on and he makes me stop. Brian has to go home. Friday January 24th, 1992. I will never forget this day as long as I live. Brian and I had made tentative plans to drive into Boston, maybe catch a cult or gay movie. I'm on cloud nine already just thinking about another night with him. My boss calls me into his office. The company has finally come through with an official offer for my relocation to California. I accept it. I go back to my office and call Brian, he is home from school by now. We decide to skip the trip to Boston and spend the night at my place. YES YES YES YES! Brian will get a ride to a local mall from his parents and I am to meet him there. He is not sure yet what time he can get there. I rush home in record time. When will he call ? Is tonight the night ? I dig out some old pictures looking for one of myself to give to Brian as a memento. I love him. Oh God how I love him. The phone rings, it's him, we are meeting at the mall at 7PM. I literally run to my van and speed all the way there, warp ten all the way. I love him. I want him. I buy a hot dog and play with it in front of all the strangers, ha ha ha, we're all around you so get used to it. Am I at the right door ? Did he get scared ? The suspense is unbearable. I turn around and he is there walking towards me. Suddenly everyone else disappears, there is no-one there but me and my love. His leather jacket is flapping as he walks briskly toward me. I remember to breathe. He is smiling and full of joy. His hair is brown, smooth and straight, his glasses give him a look that is so cute. I want to hug him so hard and so long. I want to make him laugh and cry out with joy. Those dark eyebrows. His shoulders are so strong and masculine. How can I be so lucky ? It takes two years to walk to my van. He gets in beside me and I take his hand in mine. Our music on the tape deck. I fire up the warp drives and we set our course for destiny. There is no traffic on the way to my apartment, or at least I did not notice any. We are holding hands as the music flows around us in the colors of love. We pull into my driveway and we sit a minute enjoying a little bit more of our music. We have all night to be together, no need to rush. The winter lashes out at us as we walk to the door but nothing can touch us now. We are together and we both know why. Inside my apartment is warm and cozy. We fool around with my computers a bit as I begin to fool around with Brian. A point is reached where I am starting to push him a bit too far and a bit too hard. He is suddenly confused and unsure of himself. He is filled with conflict. We had talked many times about the possibility of something happening between us and I could never tell how he felt, but that is how Brian is. Very reserved, very private. I back off. I apologize. I am suddenly filled with doubts. Am I being good to him or am I being selfish? Is this now too big for either one of us ? I offer him a ride home if he wants it. He says no. I hug him forever. I love him. I want what is good for him. Brian gets up to take a leak. I see that he is too tense. I offer him a back rub and he accepts. As I take off his shoes I see that his socks are as pure and white as his soul. I take him by the hand and lead him into the bedroom. "Lay down on your stomach honey please". "Do you feel how warm my waterbed is ?" I straddle him on the bed. My knees on either side of him, my ass resting on his. Even if I do not get what I want this will not be harmful to my love. I resign myself to giving him a backrub and nothing more. I love him, I do not mind. He is wearing a green cotton sweatshirt and no tee shirt. I start to rub his back but the sweatshirt interferes, "Honey, we have to take off the sweatshirt, I need to touch your skin to give you a backrub." "No" is all I get. This is Brian, a man of very few words at times. I push his sweatshirt up to his shoulders. His arms are folded under his head, on the pillows, in my bed. I want to die from joy. His body is as beautiful a site as any eyes could ever see. I start to run my fingers lightly on his skin. He fights me and twists away, it seems he is ticklish. I promise not to tickle him and start again, this time firmly kneeding his well muscled torso, he relaxes instantly. The waist of his jeans is in my way. I tug them down a bit so I can reach the small of his back and now I see the waistline of his blue boxer shorts. I am hotter than a tomcat in April. What is going to happen here tonight? He does not fight me again. The passion wells up inside me. I start to rub his gorgeous ass. He lies motionless beneath me, more relaxed than I have ever seen him. I reach underneath him and unsnap his jeans. He does not oppose me. Now I can pull his jeans down far enough that I see the top of his ass cheeks. I am going crazy now. I rub his ass until I am completely filled with passion. My right hand goes underneath him again, this time grabbing his crotch in an unmistakable way. He is as hard as a rock already. Now I know. Not a word from Brian.
"Roll over honey" I roll him over. His erection is now in front of me. I put my face on his jeans and begin kissing as my hands pull down his zipper. His cock wants to jump out through the fly of his boxer shorts but I will not let it. Too soon. With my teeth I pull the fly of his shorts closed, then I start to kiss his manhood through his underwear. It is fairly obvious now that he has chosen to share himself with me, but because he is Brian he cannot say so out loud. "Oh Brian I love you". I sense the wetness of his cock. It would not be good to let him cum before he is in my mouth. I start to take his jeans off but he is too heavy on them. "Lift up honey". He is somewhere else but somehow he musters the strength to lift his ass up off the bed. I pull his jeans off and throw them on the floor. Then his boxer shorts. Now he is there before me in just his pure white socks and his green sweatshirt. I bend down over him again, licking and kissing his cock. I run the tip of my tongue up and down his dick. I take his balls in my mouth. They are amazingly large and firm. His crotch smells wonderful. I bury my nose in his pubic hair and take in the smell of him. I love him. He has his right arm over his face blocking out the light. I sense that he cannot believe this is really happening. Neither can I. I take off my clothes and get ready for the experience of a lifetime. I take his cock into my mouth. I suck him. Slowly I work him up into a frenzy. Finally he begins to thrust his hips and I know that he is ready, I speed up to help him cum. He begins to moan and I know it is close, I go faster. At long last he shoots his load into my mouth and it is so sweet, I swallow every drop of his precious fluid. Slowly and gently I draw the last lingering drops of his man juice and then I release his cock from my mouth. I snuggle up to him, pulling my bedspread up around him so he will not be cold. I whisper sweet words of love in his ear. He takes off his sweatshirt so our bodies can touch. Outside the wind chill factor is minus forty but we could not care less. He has the most beautiful smile on his face. I have never seen anyone look so relaxed and happy. I love him. We lay their together, I kiss his shoulders and lick his nipples. His chest is so warm against my face. His smile tells me that he is very content. If only we could stay like that forever. He rolls over onto his stomach and I run my fingers over his ass, up and down his back. I nibble on his ear. He laughs. I kiss his shoulders. I tell him that I just went to heaven without having to die. I thank him for giving me the greatest gift he could ever give, himself.
I want to touch his chest again so I ask him to roll over but
he says no. I ask him why and he says "Because I'm a horny bastard,
that's why". I roll him over and he is hard again. I put my head on
his belly for a second as I stroke his cock and then I know that we
both want me to suck him again. I climb down between his legs and run
my tongue up and down his cock. Once again I take his balls in my mouth,
they are so big. He loves this, he moans. Now I start to flick my tongue
on the sensitive spot under the head of his cock. What a huge cock head
too. He responds the way I expected, getting so hot he cannot stand it.
"You're teasing me!" Suddenly he can't stand it anymore, his cock is becoming too sensitive to my tongue. Just as I decide to give him what he craves he yells out "NO!" No means please in this case. I slip my lips over the head of his cock and just stop for a second to let him calm down. This time he is not covering his eyes. I twist around to put my cock near him and he grabs it right away stroking me as I begin to go up and down on him. Heaven again. I sense he is getting closer so I start to go faster and faster. As I feel his orgasm approach I make an effort to change nothing in the pattern of my motion, knowing this will help him to get off. He cums in my mouth again, so sweet, just like he is. I love him. Now I am lying next to him. I wrap the bedspread around us. His eyes are closed and the smile is back on his face again, even more relaxed now. I sense he is very happy this has all happened. I tell him it will be easier for him now. He whispers "Yes". I see that he needs to rest. "You can sleep if you want to honey, I'll stay awake." All I wanted to do was just lay their next to him, looking at the smile on his face. I begin to touch myself. Suddenly I want to cum too. I take his hand and he understands. He starts to stroke me. After a few minutes I take over. I'm lying on my side facing him, he is on his back.
"Do you want me to cum on you honey ?" As my orgasm approaches he smiles even wider. My cum blasts out of me onto his stomach and his right hand. He turns to me and kisses me on the lips.
"I love you Brian". I clean him up with one of my socks. Later, on the way home, we are listening to our music again. I stop and buy us some soda and Doritos. We hold hands in my van. I guess I really do love him. I always will. He is Heaven on Earth to me.
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